welcome portfolio

Peruse our Pulchritudinous Portfolio!

a fragile shade
We made this site for a fragile shade with just two paintbrushes and a megaphone. It's boosted their productivity by 300%, and their stock is up twelve points since launch. Predictions are rosy for the next fiscal quarter, with an earnings-per-share report up 180% from last season.

A documentary team followed us around for a year while we arranged sticks and stones in an effort to create this groundbreaking site. Despite the herculean trials involved we prevailed, and in the end had a ninety foot high keyboard with a working microprocessor and net connection. Unfortunately, it was too heavy to take off of the island with us, and so it remains there to this day... serving up this single site.

day of lions
Robots attacked halfway through the making of this site, and tried to destroy our progress. They were jealous of the beauty and life we bring into the world, and the immense power of our skills. We repelled them with our four forearms made of bronze, and trapped their planetary energies in our hypnogenic hippocampus. Now they work for us, picking processors on our server farms.

We built this entire site in two days, with no sleep and no food. No, no, wait. We built this site in six hours, using ten keyboards and three prosthetic limbs apiece. Well... okay, actually we dreamed this site in a matter of minutes and converted it directly to binary code using our unstoppable dream-to-binary-code conversion technique.

The devil offered us all the wine and women we could ever want in exchange for the rights to this site. We turned him down, of course. Then he offered us a G5 and a classic Sunn O))) amp (in mint condition, natch). Well, what could we do? He took the domain and the rest is history.

Strong currents bid us swiftly on our journey into morpheus's arms. Rest, at long last, descends upon these weary bones. To sleep; to sleep: perchance to dream.

mud shark studios
One night these zombies dropped by to say hello. They said, "Hi, are you Dave? We are staying here tonight." We explained that we weren't Dave, and weren't expecting any guests, but they were zombies, you know? We told them they could sleep in the living room, as long as they didn't bleed on anything. When we woke up the next morning the zombies were gone, but this site was lying on the floor in a big pile of eviscerated organs.

the escaped
We thought they meant velocity at first. We were halfway done building the V-0 Mark IX rocket (our own custom design, would have cinched the X-Prize) before the misunderstanding was cleared up. So we dismantled the rocket and built a site for them instead. No hard feelings, guys.

If happiness were sitting in an office from 9-5 with a decorative noose around your neck filling out TPS reports for your boss, these fine chaps would be the most depressed fellows on earth. As it is they form a carefree coalition of cheerful compadres, eager to make your life better with their savagely saccharine skills. Submit to their superior design sense!

Burly beards, dooming sounds, electrifying stage presence, and a devoted commitment to abstinence. These four basic elements have combined to create a musical monstrosity whose legion of fans threatens daily to overwhelm our fair land with their terrifyingly obsessive fanage. Listen... if you dare.

el cerdo
They came to us from an island hidden deep in the Pacific. Wearing only boar heads and loinclothes, they formed a brutal and savage impression on our young minds. "Sucks to your assmar!", they kept repeating, voices deep and guttural. And suddenly we understood - they wanted a website.

Fast-forward to the year 2029. North Korea has invaded Canada. Chechnyan rebels claim Mexico as their home base. And the only thing standing between our glorious way of life here in the good old united states of america and these preposterous philistines are the genetically altered superheroes drop.six.

the horde
Who says only prophets and vampires come back from the dead? The Horde are here to set the record straight, having risen out of the tomb no less than six times in the last three years. And we've been there helping them shed the grave clothes, each and every time.